Lulu Lunacy

I never watched it before because I thought it was pointless to indulge 'celebrities' a luxury and peace of mind I'll never have. But for some reason I decided to watch 'Who Do You Think You Are?' on NBC. People (celebrities, sports stars, public figures, etc) go on a well plotted journey back through their ancestry discovering their roots. It's utterly fascinating. And for me, utterly heartbreaking. I was given up for adoption at birth, taken into the custody of the State of Kansas (fostered) and adopted by my parents at 6 months of age. I do have a copy of my 'original' birth certificate, and Kansas is an 'open record' state, now, note this; in as far as the information was given correctly/truthfully. I've been told my BM (Birth Mother) was a single, un-wed mother (the story of how I was conceived is a bit torrid) 19 when I was born and living at the Crittenton home for unwed mothers. The research I've done ...

I will be posting links to the mental illnesses I suffer from one at a time, in no particular order. Just in case anyone would like to learn more about any individual disorder or just my brain in general :) Just remember, like anything else with individual people, illnesses present both some similar and original characteristics depending on the person.  Social Anxiety Disorder; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder

Full Moon, clear, dark sky, crisp, chilly air, jets flying over; It's a beautiful night...don't tell me I'm starting to like this place.

No kids going back to school today for me. One went to work, tho' :) I do hope my beloved Grandson, Dakota is having a wonderful First Day of School. I don't know; 'they' are back to not letting us have contact with him again :( Yaya loves you, my Main Man ♥ Always and Forever no matter what 'they' say, no matter what happens. Shaping up to be a crappy day. No phone, important calls to make, off my Lithium for 2 days now (ran out, can't get to shrink Dr. to get more yet) dead broke, loan payment due, well, technically overdue; went to the cupboard and you know the rest.

I think I just discovered the root (ha-ha) of my Radish obsession; My Grandad in England used to grow them and we'd have them with Tea. He was a very calm, stable energy in my life, added to being in a place where I was happy and felt not only comfortable but alive. 28 years. I've been searching for that again.

A very intelligent friend I respect very much queried this; "...how about we spend 600 Million on helping illegal immigrants BECOME legal and educated citizens rather than stir the pot of ignorant gear and hostility towards people ONLY wanting the same that our Great Grandparents wanted for themselves...?" W.W. To which I unexpectedly purged myself of this... We actually need to do both at once. JMHO. Secure the border(s), document the ones here and background check, and GO AFTER the ones here who are criminal (other than being here illegally). Give them a warning to get back a cross the border (drug, murder rape, robbery guilty) seal it up, watch every one who goes (so we know if they come back) while we're legalizing everyone else so they can STFU about racism and 'oh, but America was founded on immigrants', make it a crime to hire illegals and a law they need to do SSN checks (I had mine stolen and used by an illegal in SC) when they hire.I may se...

I broke up with the BF again. Details were at 11, on FB. On another note, I wiped clean and requested a delete of my MySpace profile I've had for 5 or 6 years. It's blankness is still floating around, it's been over a week and they still haven't taken it completely off. Never trust the MySpaz. Which is why I deleted everything on it just to be sure. http://www.myspace.com/cyn13ic

Today's fun (technically yesterdays) consisted of spending my last penny. On food of all things, lol. Humans should have evolved to run on one meal a day by now, sheesh. You know, like ancient vampires, the older they get, the less they need to sustain themselves. Or Alligators. Or Pythons. You know what I mean. So I come home with the groceries and realize I forgot to buy a Coke (my one addiction). Nice. In the mean time, some of the LHS gals are getting together again at Boston's for drinks and I'm having a little pity party because I didn't get a personal invite. Well, DUH! Did you SEE the pictures from the actual reunion and after party at SB's last weekend? They must think I'm a complete circus freak! So I kept posting dumb Status updates on FB essentially whining about it all. When I snapped out of that ridiculousness I ended up deleting 90% of what I posted all day. Duh, Laurie. Just...duh. I did get a 'Hey, go with me' from TS but I don't kno...