Lulu Lunacy

Some artists believe, you cannot have great art without some madness and with that madness comes a search to escape it.  I have never seen A more beautiful machine Than the one they call Miss Fury Christine. And I have always said Christine Isn't dead. IF If there were a God If there were a Heaven If there were Angels and Demons and if they had a War That War in Heaven is over That War with God is done If there is a God If my words He can hear and If he wisely heeds them My War with God has just begun.  I used to love words. I lived to laugh and dance with them, arranging them to my song and symphony. Now my thoughts fail me. I think I hate them now.

So you know how when you get stoned or maybe from pain killers or other meds/drugs sometimes you feel like you're just floating through a movie of what you're doing, like you keep loosing track of time and what you're doing or were focusing on, not like ADD or OCD sidetracked, but more surreal and filmy, like looking through frosted glass in your brain at times. Like you've partially stepped outsi de yourself and are walking beside yourself. Like there are little black holes in your mind and things you read, watch, hear people say, etc and keep trying to grasp and hang onto, sometimes just stroll blindly into those black holes and silently vanish irretrievably. 99 out of a hundred times they're just gone forever, and I have to just drop it (the idea I'll retrieve the memory) and go on to something else. I live in a bit of a different world since my *break* happened. I thought it was something that would pass, but I'm starting to think this is pe...