Breakdown

So you know how when you get stoned or maybe from pain killers or other meds/drugs sometimes you feel like you're just floating through a movie of what you're doing, like you keep loosing track of time and what you're doing or were focusing on, not like ADD or OCD sidetracked, but more surreal and filmy, like looking through frosted glass in your brain at times. Like you've partially stepped outside yourself and are walking beside yourself. Like there are little black holes in your mind and things you read, watch, hear people say, etc and keep trying to grasp and hang onto, sometimes just stroll blindly into those black holes and silently vanish irretrievably. 99 out of a hundred times they're just gone forever, and I have to just drop it (the idea I'll retrieve the memory) and go on to something else. I live in a bit of a different world since my *break* happened. I thought it was something that would pass, but I'm starting to think this is permanent.
Just thought I'd share what's going on, I actually don't think I accurately described what it's like and the way I wanted to, but I really can't find the words and descriptions I want. Loosing all that to the black holes too.