Written as a group message to some wonderful FB friends;
Just between this group, and nobody feel sorry for me, because I'm the crazy lady who needs her cable & internet even tho' I'm in the financial straights I am (but I've finally decided I need to have it scaled down again, I did a few months ago in anticipation of this change coming up, but it's not enough).
When Cajun turned 18 we lost her child support which was 1/3rd of our household income. It's quite a whack. Plus I've been giving her extra the last 4 months to get her car running as she's the one with more of a life than I :)
The end of the month is always shitty.
Going to the food bank entails more trouble than it's worth most of the time and they always have such a sad dish out. I mean, beggars can't be choosers, but if it's a bunch of stuff I cannot use, it's past dates and stuff I haven't got the other items to make something with, it's pretty pointless. You can actually use maybe 1/4th of what you get, unless it's a bonanza month and they've got deer meat donations or something like that from a surplus.
And I think my seasonal depression started early. It's still warm out here, but even the position of the Sun seems later in the year. Daylight savings is literally going to plunge me into moody darkness and I've already got a head start.
Just the regular tale of a white trash crazy lady.
Then I get to see those little 'Likes' people join and everyone but me has joined 'if you get food stamps you don't need cigarettes or beer' I don't smoke. If I can get Cloves, I do. I don't go out of my way. The last time I bought some my Mom actually bought them in Colorado. My ex Randy bought some a while back, Cajun smoked them all.
I don't drink beer to get drunk. I truly like the taste, like I like Coke and pink lemonade and water when I have the taste for some nice, cold water. I'm not a cocktail/hard liquor drinker because that IS expensive and 'for getting drunk' lol. I'm lucky if I get a bottle of wine a year.
But, as I say, I've done all this to myself, and I was born with the disabilities and problems I have. So nobody fret over me and my situation.
This month just seems to be worse than the rest and a kin to something that I felt in 1999, that was a HELL winter. I'm actually surprised I lived through it. I found out last week Jupiter was passing by then, just like now, so if anyone has any info on how Jupiter is supposed to effect (affect??) Aries (I'm thinking basics, War God, Father/Ruler figure=tense and pissed off match up; I could be wrong) let me know. I never was any good at the planet in houses thing with astrology.
This week will suck, then it'll be okay till the bills are paid and the shopping shuffled, then start all over again. Bleh.
Now I have to go write my oldest daughter who's been in jail for 2 weeks and has another 2 weeks to go. I'm so mad I haven't written her for 2 weeks now I feel like a shitty Mom. The youngest has court Tuesday. The joy. She's the smart one.
This went beyond what I had intended (a brief sentence) so feel free to disregard.
And this is how I feel about it all; we all have our station in life, I'm just living mine. As The Rock says; Know Your Role.
Just between this group, and nobody feel sorry for me, because I'm the crazy lady who needs her cable & internet even tho' I'm in the financial straights I am (but I've finally decided I need to have it scaled down again, I did a few months ago in anticipation of this change coming up, but it's not enough).
When Cajun turned 18 we lost her child support which was 1/3rd of our household income. It's quite a whack. Plus I've been giving her extra the last 4 months to get her car running as she's the one with more of a life than I :)
The end of the month is always shitty.
Going to the food bank entails more trouble than it's worth most of the time and they always have such a sad dish out. I mean, beggars can't be choosers, but if it's a bunch of stuff I cannot use, it's past dates and stuff I haven't got the other items to make something with, it's pretty pointless. You can actually use maybe 1/4th of what you get, unless it's a bonanza month and they've got deer meat donations or something like that from a surplus.
And I think my seasonal depression started early. It's still warm out here, but even the position of the Sun seems later in the year. Daylight savings is literally going to plunge me into moody darkness and I've already got a head start.
Just the regular tale of a white trash crazy lady.
Then I get to see those little 'Likes' people join and everyone but me has joined 'if you get food stamps you don't need cigarettes or beer' I don't smoke. If I can get Cloves, I do. I don't go out of my way. The last time I bought some my Mom actually bought them in Colorado. My ex Randy bought some a while back, Cajun smoked them all.
I don't drink beer to get drunk. I truly like the taste, like I like Coke and pink lemonade and water when I have the taste for some nice, cold water. I'm not a cocktail/hard liquor drinker because that IS expensive and 'for getting drunk' lol. I'm lucky if I get a bottle of wine a year.
But, as I say, I've done all this to myself, and I was born with the disabilities and problems I have. So nobody fret over me and my situation.
This month just seems to be worse than the rest and a kin to something that I felt in 1999, that was a HELL winter. I'm actually surprised I lived through it. I found out last week Jupiter was passing by then, just like now, so if anyone has any info on how Jupiter is supposed to effect (affect??) Aries (I'm thinking basics, War God, Father/Ruler figure=tense and pissed off match up; I could be wrong) let me know. I never was any good at the planet in houses thing with astrology.
This week will suck, then it'll be okay till the bills are paid and the shopping shuffled, then start all over again. Bleh.
Now I have to go write my oldest daughter who's been in jail for 2 weeks and has another 2 weeks to go. I'm so mad I haven't written her for 2 weeks now I feel like a shitty Mom. The youngest has court Tuesday. The joy. She's the smart one.
This went beyond what I had intended (a brief sentence) so feel free to disregard.
And this is how I feel about it all; we all have our station in life, I'm just living mine. As The Rock says; Know Your Role.
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