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I Want Corn Flakes and Banana

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Originally Written by the13thcynic

January 4, 2010 at 3:37 AM


I really do, but ain’t going to the store at almost 3AM. You know, if I REALLY wanted it right now, and it was warmer, I would go. I do have PS’s car, well, access to it anyway, but waking her up for the keys could be a death sentence, she’s got school tomorrow. She’s almost done. Almost the very FIRST High School Graduate in our Family. Granted, she had to get it through a private school, but it is what it is. I got my GED (and I scored exceedingly high, first try no less, thank you very much; all but for the math…bleh!) 9 years after I would have graduated regular High School, and my oldest, poor thing, I don’t know if she ever really had the chance. Don’t look at me, I tried, remember, Damage Control? I was out numbered by the inbred hillbillies. I mean, what kind of motivation is there when the Grandmother married at 14 by lying about her age to her second Cousin?
Anywho…that car of hers has been more stress…among its myriad problems the heater doesn’t work, so you get to drive with a window open so the windows don’t fog up too completely. My hands are tied as far as helping her with that damned car. That’s her hole she dug. The brief telemarketing job (it’s almost a rite of passage, like flipping burgers at least once) cost us more than it was worth. She had to drive to Ogden & back (15 miles each way, a LOT for that rickety car) I HATE that part of Ogden so I was stressed out, then we had out food stamps slashed to bits and the rent bumped up because of her working! So, it put us BEHIND. To top it off, her Dad (for reasons I haven’t been in contact w/ ORS because of the Holidays to find out yet) shorted us an entire hundred on her child support for December. Which is quite a chunk of cash when our normal monthly income is around $900. Even with subsidized rent, which I thank Gravity for, it leaves us working with what a lot of people are used to making in a week. Wow…how would it be. Just thought on that for a second.
Did I mention I had the Swine Flu/H1N1? Two solid weeks. Then a few days recovering from recovering, was weird. Hope I don’t have that much fun again for a long time if ever.
This entry is all over the place, but whatev. I haven’t written about one thing tho’…

My good Friend, Tony, whom I know there’s another blog entry or 2 about in here somewhere; passed away December 28th at a few minutes after 4PM with all of us, his Family and a few Friends, surrounding him. It was quite an experience. He’s been very ill with terminal liver disease and ultimately failure. Not at all to do with drinking. He was diagnosed with Hep C over a decade ago, his family has a history of liver problems and combined, it turned quickly into cirrhosis. He has been cremated and we’re having his Memorial/Funeral services Tuesday, and his ashes will be buried. He did have a few little lockets/necklaces the mortuary offers made up with a small amount of his ashes in them to be given to his 2 Daughters and I think also his Sister, I’m not sure if anyone else. I told my girls to just toss me in the Pacific. I keep changing my mind tho’, first it was dump me in New Orleans (St. Louis Cemetery No 1 of course!) then in a swamp, then the ocean…maybe I should do a bit here & there. Or, all where Black Beards ship wrecked since it’s purportedly haunted. Knowing my girls they’ll flush me down the toilet and I’ll have to haunt them till their hair turns white.
Tony & I had an agreement that as soon as he could, he’d come and give me a sign he was okay and btw, look, there’s an afterlife! I’m not expecting anything soon, he’s got a big family to tend to and my Brother-in-law took 6 weeks before he popped in to say whats up.
Oddly enough, I have noticed when I do start talking about or thinking about Tony much, I instantly get very tired…to the point I go lay down. Talking to his Sister yesterday, I’d only been up a few hours and after the call, I literally stumbled to bed and sawed logs for 3 hours! And just now, I was all full of awake-ness and actually have a different things going on, paperwork, a game, a TV show, housework, this, etc, and since I started writing about him, I just noticed I’m tired, I looked up at the screen and my eyes felt heavy & I swayed a bit…I had even been thinking about unloading the dishwasher…now I don’t feel like I can even scoop the litter box (my normal just-before-bed chore) and take the garbage & Toby out one last time. But I have to, cuz that’s my routine. Oh how fun. I’m 41 and have a ‘routine’. That would totally make Tony laugh.

In the immortal 3 year old words of my beloved grandson; ‘Oh look…a Teddy Bear!’ (And he was being completely sarcastic! Just like Yaya!)
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